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Good leadership coexists with good coping mechanisms and self-regulation skills. We live and run businesses, building worst-case scenarios, expecting our world won’t collapse tomorrow. But if it will?
In my case, I woke up on February 24th, 2022, and discovered that Russian troops landed just 10 km away from my home in Irpin, Ukraine. Suddenly, my team in other cities and I appeared in the middle of a rapidly developing military action. What does it mean? We could be killed by Russian artillery and airstrikes. An example is a left photo of what my city was like after the Russian bombing. So, how did I handle this situation?
The first thing I did was yoga. It helped me calm my mind through my body, and I needed a clear mind because that day was supposed to be a day of fast and tough decisions.
Next, I checked on my team: who was in the same situation as me and who was safe. My team was lost and scared, and it was expected as most of them experienced war actions for the first time in their lives. Thanks to my experience in a war zone from 2014 to 2016, I know how war actions work and what to consider. Communicating with each other and staying connected helped me prepare for action.
Then, I gathered information to evaluate risks before making any decisions and action plans:
Environment: What exactly was going on around my team and me?
Risk level: How bad is it for our safety?
Prioritization: Who needs evacuation first?
Timing: When and how much time do we have to act?
Green zone: where can we be safe? And how to get there?
Resources: what do we need to get to a safe zone?
These three things — body, communication, and information — gave me a sense of control back and readiness to act.
War conflicts are one of many extreme situations that happen in our modern world nowadays - natural disasters like earthquakes, tornados, wildfires, resource crises, and social protests. Remember that moment when the COVID pandemic interfered with your life?..
The first thing to learn when taking leadership in such situations is YOU. Your body, mind, emotions, and way of interacting with others change. The goal is to know these changes to regain control of the situation.
Okay, a crisis you didn’t expect to happen is here now. You lose control in a second, your illusion of safety and stability collapses, and it is more intense than your conscious mind can handle…for now. If our minds can’t handle it, our instincts can. And FEAR is the main drive of our instincts.
Fear And Instincts: What To Know
So, what does fear do to us in an extreme situation? Our body and mind are one system, and as soon as an extreme situation happens, an inner animal is activated, and a conscious human being - is deactivated. A cocktail of hormones, with our main friend adrenalin, brings your body to a level of fear and energy you have never experienced before, triggering an instinct response - fight, freeze, or flight. You can experience all these responses throughout your life depending on the context of the situation you faced, for example:
Your government promotes a law that restricts your rights and freedoms - you fight.
You witness a car crash - you freeze.
Someone threatens you for a political reason - you flight.
Imagine a rider on a horse — if something suddenly scares the horse, the rider can lose control and fall off or be dragged into danger instead of avoiding it. Your instincts are like wild horses, and a Rider is Conscious Yourself, who controls and guides instincts.
Maybe you ride not a horse but a tiger, a dragon, or a mouse. Whatever animal instincts you have inside you, you need your Rider to keep control in a dangerous situation. But if your Rider lost control, how do you gain it back?
Ways Of Coping With Fear And Regaing Control
It doesn’t matter how intense your fear is; you have everything you need to regain your inner Rider and survive. In the beginning, I described my experience and showed how I used a combination of 3 available ways to do it. But there’s more, and I will share all of them with you.
The main goal is to shift your state of fear into a more productive state that will help you:
To keep connection with reality
To evaluate the environment and risks
To act consistently when needed
To communicate goals and priorities to others
To get the resources that you and others need to survive
Your productive state in extreme situations can be anger, anxiety, emotional numbness, or even excitement - every reaction is normal in abnormal situations and varies personally. But the main thing is that you’re in control right now: your instincts work to supply you with energy, and any other emotions are background noise. So, how do you get into this productive state?
Use these ways to gain control when you’re in fear in an extreme situation:
Body. If your attention is stuck on your pulse and rapid breathing, you have a panic attack - calm down your intense physical reactions until your mind is back. You can regulate them through breathing techniques and physical activity, such as yoga, or just squats and push-ups.
Imagination. If you don’t feel connected with your body and reality, use your imagination. You’re already in your head, and so is fear. The main trick here is to find something inside you that is stronger than fear — your memories about the people you love and the places where you were happy. Or it can be guided visualization. In my experience, many NLP techniques can be helpful.
Emotion. If you are drowning in a tsunami of emotions, let them out to reduce inner tension. Cry, scream, express your anger, or just verbalize them calmly. No emotion lasts forever; all of them have their beginning, culmination, and decline. Just go through it, and you will get control back faster.
Action. If everything around you seems to be chaos - bring order to it. Start with something small that can give you a sense of control. Then, move more complex actions until you feel you’re back. Helping others who depend on you or are more disoriented is also a way of gaining control through action.
Connection / Communication. If you feel lost or disoriented, totally alone with your situation - connect with others. Who is your trusted contact? Whose voice has a calming effect on you? Who knows what to do, and you can talk to them and learn from them? Use this channel to reduce tension. If you don’t have such contacts - get help through a hotline service that provides assistance in extreme situations.
Information. If you don’t understand what’s going on and don’t know anything about what you face - gather information. List questions you want to have answers to. Find trusted channels to get information. Step by step, build a picture of what you are dealing with.
Belief / Core Values. If you see that the situation you face is wrong and it shouldn’t happen - use your beliefs and core values to fight fear. If you believe in God, praying can calm your brain and body. If you believe in justice, then take action to protect yourself and others. What core values will you fight for rather than give up your life? Remember them in situations of danger.
My approach to self-regulation above is based on a model of coping mechanisms in high-stress situations called BASIC Ph, developed by Professor Mooli Lahad. BASIC Ph stands for six ways of coping with traumatic events:
B - belief and value.
A - affect and emotion.
S - social interactions.
I - imagination.
C - cognition and thought.
Ph - physiology, and activities.
This system is used for recovery from traumatic events or when people cannot leave a place of danger in an uncertain period of time - soldiers in captivity, civilians in refugee camps, etc. You can read more about BASIC Ph in the book of Prof. Mooli Lahad, “The "Basic Ph" Model of Coping and Resiliency: Theory, Research and Cross-cultural Application.” A sample is also available on Google Books.
Wrapping up
Navigating crises requires a mix of self-regulation, clear communication, and risk-based decision-making. Described strategies can help you regain control and act effectively, whether it’s war, natural disasters, or personal emergencies. Your instincts and resilience are your best friends in these moments.
Thanks for sticking with me through this journey. If you found this helpful and want more tips on coping, leadership, and resilience, I’d love for you to subscribe to my blog. Let’s continue this conversation and support each other in building a stronger, more resilient community. Let me know your questions in the comments. Stay safe and be brave!
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